Glossary BDSM
Cuffs
Also called · handcuffs · wrist restraints · ankle cuffs
At a glance
- In one line
- Purpose-made wrist or ankle restraints that go on in seconds and need no technique.
- Usually looks like
- Padded leather or neoprene bands buckled on, metal cuffs, or a four-corner strap set under the mattress.
- Gear needed
- Yes, though a soft belt or a scarf around the wrists covers the same ground to start with.
- Talk about first
- Where the key lives, how long you stay in them, and the signal for coming out early.
Cuffs are purpose-made wrist or ankle restraints: padded leather or neoprene bands that buckle, metal handcuffs with a ratchet, or a strap set that runs under the mattress and clips at four corners. Compared with rope they restrain in seconds and need no skill, which is why they are the most common first piece of bondage equipment people buy.
Hardware changes the experience more than people expect. Metal police-style cuffs have narrow edges that dig into the wrist and can press on nerves within minutes, while lined cuffs spread the load and tolerate real pulling. Other variables are whether the wrists are joined to each other, anchored to a bed, or held apart, whether the cuffs lock or release with a pull, and how much struggling is part of it.
People rate cuffs high for the immediacy, the sound of them closing, and the fact that no learning is involved. Low scores often reflect disliking the loss of the hands specifically, or finding the hardware clinical and costume-like, and those people usually prefer a scarf, a necktie, or a partner's grip. A middling score often means brief use only, near the end.
What a score means here Cuffs
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0
Hard no: having your wrists held, or holding someone else's, is not something you want.
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1–33
1–33: hands held above the head briefly is fine; hardware and locks are not wanted.
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34–66
34–66: cuffs work for a stretch of a scene, and you want them off before the whole thing ends.
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67–99
67–99: being restrained or restraining someone is a deliberate part of what you are there for.
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100
100: the encounter works around being genuinely held in place, cuffed for most of it.
Rating it
A low score means having your hands or ankles held is not something you want in either role; a high score means restraint you cannot simply shrug off is something you want built into sex rather than tried once.
Common misconceptions
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Metal handcuffs are the classic and the best choice.
In practicePolice-style cuffs have narrow edges that dig into the wrist and can press on nerves within minutes. Lined leather or neoprene cuffs spread the load and tolerate real pulling, which is why most people move to them.
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Cuffs are only worth it if they are inescapable.
In practiceMost people rate the feeling of being held higher than the fact of it. Under-mattress strap sets restrain effectively while coming apart in one pull, which is a feature rather than a compromise.
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Furry pink cuffs from a sex shop are harmless.
In practiceThe cheap ones are usually metal ratchets under the fur, with the same edge problem and often no double lock, meaning they can tighten further under struggling. Check what is inside the padding.
Worth knowing
Leave enough slack to slide two fingers under the cuff and check every few minutes for numbness, tingling, or cold hands. Keep the key, a spare, and a pair of safety shears in the room rather than elsewhere in the house, never leave a cuffed person alone, and agree a non-verbal signal if they are also gagged.
About this item Frequently asked
Cuffs — questions people ask
what are bdsm cuffs and how are they different from handcuffs
BDSM cuffs are wrist or ankle restraints designed to be worn and pulled against: padded leather or neoprene bands that buckle, usually with a D-ring for clipping to something. Police-style handcuffs are made to hold a resisting person briefly, so they have narrow metal edges that dig in and ratchets that can tighten under struggling. For anything longer than a few minutes, or anything involving real pulling, the padded version is the one that works.
how tight should cuffs be and how often do you check them
Leave enough slack to slide two fingers under the cuff, and check every few minutes for numbness, tingling, cold hands, or colour change. Any of those means take them off now rather than at the end of the scene, since nerve pressure at the wrist builds quietly. Keep the key, a spare key, and a pair of safety shears in the same room rather than elsewhere in the house. Never leave a cuffed person alone, and agree a non-verbal signal if they are gagged as well.
whats the difference between cuffs and light rope bondage
Cuffs restrain in seconds and require no skill; light rope bondage takes time to apply and puts broad pressure across the skin, which is part of what people want from it. Many people score them very differently for that reason: if restraint is a means to an end, cuffs win on convenience, and if the process and the feel of the material are the appeal, rope does something buckles cannot. Cuffs are also easier to hide in a shared flat and quicker to get out of in a hurry.
what should i buy first for bondage
An under-mattress strap set is the usual first purchase: four padded cuffs on adjustable straps that run under the mattress, leaving nothing to install and nothing visible when the bed is made. They restrain effectively, adjust to any bed, and come apart in one pull. Add a pair of safety shears at the same time. Avoid the cheap furry metal cuffs sold in novelty sets, and avoid anything that locks until you have used restraints enough to know how you react to being genuinely stuck.
how do i rate cuffs if i only want them for a few minutes
Score how much the restraint itself appeals, and treat duration as a limit you state out loud. On the 0–100 scale, 0 is a hard limit — no restraint of the wrists or ankles in either role. Wanting ten minutes of it in the middle of a longer encounter is a normal middle score rather than a low one. High scores fit people who want to be genuinely held for most of a scene. If it is only ever an accessory to something else, keep the number low and score that other thing higher.
Appears on
This item appears on the BDSM test — one vial each.