Glossary Basics
Dildos
Also called · strap-on · insertable toy
At a glance
- In one line
- Insertable toys used for fullness and movement, held by hand or worn in a harness.
- Usually looks like
- Vaginal or anal use, held by a partner, or worn as a strap-on.
- Gear needed
- Yes. A body-safe silicone, glass, or steel toy, lubricant, and a harness if worn.
- Talk about first
- Size, who uses it on whom, whether a harness is involved, and cleaning.
Dildos are insertable toys used for vaginal or anal penetration, usually without vibration. They come in silicone, glass, and stainless steel, in sizes from slim to substantial, and in shapes ranging from anatomically realistic to entirely abstract. They can be held by either partner or worn in a harness as a strap-on, which allows penetrative sex regardless of anatomy.
The variables are size and shape, material and firmness, and who is in control of the toy. Curved models aimed at the prostate or the front vaginal wall feel quite different from straight ones. Practical concerns include where a large toy gets stored, cleaning, and whether it is used instead of or alongside other penetration.
Some people rate dildos high because a toy offers size, angle, and stamina that a body cannot, and because a strap-on opens up penetration for couples who would not otherwise have that option. Lower ratings often reflect a preference for warmth and skin, or the object itself feeling clinical rather than appealing.
What a score means here Dildos
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0
Hard no: insertable toys are not wanted, in either direction.
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1–33
1-33: usable but adds little next to a body, and likely to stay in a drawer.
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34–66
34-66: wanted occasionally, often for a specific thing a body cannot do.
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67–99
67-99: an ordinary part of sex rather than a novelty brought out on special occasions.
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100
100: central to how you have sex, harness included, and not a substitute for anything.
Rating it
A low score means insertable toys hold little appeal next to bodies; a high score means you want them as an ordinary part of sex rather than a novelty brought out occasionally.
Common misconceptions
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Dildos are what you use when there is no partner.
In practiceA large share of use is partnered, including strap-on play between any combination of partners. Size, shape, angle, and stamina are adjustable in ways a body is not, which is the actual draw.
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Bigger is better.
In practiceGirth registers far more than length, and length past a certain point produces discomfort rather than sensation. People replacing a first toy usually go wider and shorter rather than longer.
Worth knowing
Stick to non-porous body-safe materials such as pure silicone, glass, or steel, use water-based lubricant with silicone toys, choose a flared base for anything anal, and wash toys before and after use.
About this item Frequently asked
Dildos — questions people ask
What is a dildo, and what does a strap-on add?
A dildo is an insertable toy used vaginally or anally, working through fullness, pressure, and movement rather than vibration. A strap-on is a dildo worn in a harness so it can be used hands-free, which any combination of partners can do. Materials run from soft silicone to rigid glass and steel, and the difference in feel between them is large. As a rated item this is about wanting insertable toys in partnered sex, which is separate from whether they get used alone.
How do you choose a dildo size and material?
Girth matters more than length, and material determines feel more than shape does. Silicone is soft with some give and is the usual first choice. Glass and steel are rigid, hold temperature, and transmit pressure sharply, which some people prefer and others find too much. For harness use, the base has to match the harness - a flared base for an O-ring, a suction base for wall or floor use - and anything intended for anal needs a flared base regardless. Starting narrower than expected is the common advice from people replacing one.
What materials and lubricants are safe with dildos?
Stick to non-porous body-safe materials: pure silicone, borosilicate glass, or stainless steel. Porous materials such as jelly, PVC, and rubber cannot be fully cleaned and hold bacteria between uses. Use water-based lubricant with silicone toys, since silicone lubricant degrades the surface, while glass and steel take any lubricant. Wash with soap and water before and after, use a fresh condom when sharing or moving between partners, and never move a toy from anus to vagina without cleaning it. Anal use requires a flared base every time.
What is the difference between a dildo and a butt plug?
A dildo is built for movement; a plug is built to stay put. Dildos are shaped for thrusting and are usually held or worn, with the sensation coming from motion and stretch. Plugs are shaped to be retained by the body, produce a steady sense of fullness, and are frequently worn during other activities rather than being the activity. Someone can want plugs regularly and rate dildos at zero, or the reverse. The shared requirement is a genuine flared base for anything anal.
What score should I give dildos?
Score whether you want them in partnered sex, since solo use is a separate matter. On the 0-100 scale, 0 is a hard no - insertable toys are not wanted in either direction, including being the one using them on someone. Low scores usually mean they add little next to a body; the middle means occasionally, often for something a body cannot do; high scores mean an ordinary part of sex rather than a novelty. Size and harness preferences do not fit inside a number, so a short note carries that detail.
Appears on
This item appears on the Basics test — one vial each.