Glossary Basics
Deep kissing
Also called · French kissing · tongue kissing
At a glance
- In one line
- Open-mouthed kissing with tongue contact, more sustained and wetter than closed-lip kissing.
- Usually looks like
- Minutes at a time, often the opening of sexual contact, sometimes the entire activity.
- Gear needed
- None. Breath, clean teeth, and lip balm in dry weather cover the practical side.
- Talk about first
- How wet and how forceful, biting the lips, and whether it happens in public.
Deep kissing, commonly called French kissing, is open-mouthed kissing that involves the tongue. Compared with closed-lip kissing it means more contact, more saliva, and more shared breath, and it tends to be slower and more continuous. For many couples it is the standard opening to sexual contact, though plenty of people treat it as a complete activity that does not need to lead anywhere.
Variation is mostly about intensity and texture. Some people prefer shallow, soft contact in short bursts; others want sustained, forceful kissing. How wet it is, how much the tongue moves, whether lips get bitten, and how much of the jaw and face get involved are all common preferences. Because the range is close, breath, taste, and dental care affect enjoyment here more than in almost any other act.
It is not unusual to rate deep kissing lower than intercourse. Some people find it more intimate and exposed than sex and reserve it for partners they trust, and casual encounters sometimes involve very little of it. Others simply dislike the sensory side of it, which is a preference rather than a problem to be solved.
What a score means here Deep kissing
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0
Hard no: tongue contact is off the table even briefly, though closed-lip kissing may still be fine.
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1–33
1-33: tolerable in short bursts as a transition, but it adds little on its own.
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34–66
34-66: welcome when the intensity suits - soft and shallow yes, prolonged and forceful less so.
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67–99
67-99: a main part of sex, wanted sustained rather than passed through on the way somewhere.
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100
100: sex without it barely registers as sex; an hour of only this would be well spent.
Rating it
A low score usually reflects either dislike of the sensation or a sense that this level of closeness is reserved; a high score means you want it as a central, sustained part of sex rather than a brief transition.
Common misconceptions
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More tongue means a better kiss.
In practiceComplaints in practice run the other way - too much movement, too much saliva, too deep too fast. Matching the other person's depth and pace for the first minute resolves most of it.
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Cold sores only pass on when a blister is visible.
In practiceHSV-1 can shed without visible sores, though risk is far higher during an outbreak. Pausing from the first tingle until a sore has fully healed is the usual precaution.
Worth knowing
Cold sores and other mouth infections pass easily through kissing, so it is normal for people to pause during an active outbreak.
About this item Frequently asked
Deep kissing — questions people ask
What is French kissing and how is it different from a normal kiss?
French kissing, also called deep kissing or tongue kissing, is open-mouthed kissing where tongues make contact. A closed-lip kiss involves lips only and is usually brief. The deep version means more saliva, more shared breath, and typically runs for minutes rather than seconds. For many couples it is the standard opening to sexual contact, though plenty of people treat it as a complete activity that does not need to lead anywhere. The term describes the technique, not how serious the relationship is.
How do you deep kiss without it getting too wet or too aggressive?
Match pace before adding intensity. The most common complaints about tongue kissing are volume of saliva, tongue pushed too far back, and speed that does not track the other person. Starting with lips, adding tongue shallowly, and following the other person's rhythm for the first minute fixes most of it. Swallowing occasionally and keeping the jaw loose helps. When something is not working, saying it plainly between kisses - softer, slower, less tongue - lands better than adjusting silently and hoping it reads.
Is deep kissing the same as making out?
No - deep kissing is a technique, making out is a session. Making out covers extended kissing and touching that may be entirely closed-lip and can include neck kissing, holding, and stroking over clothes. Tongue kissing is one thing that can happen inside it. The distinction matters when rating, because people commonly want one much more than the other: sustained tongue contact can feel too wet or too intense to someone who would happily spend an hour making out.
Can you catch anything from French kissing?
Yes - the main one is oral herpes (HSV-1), which spreads through kissing and causes cold sores. Risk peaks when a blister is present or forming, but the virus can shed with no sore visible. The standard precaution is pausing from the first tingle until it has fully healed, and not sharing lip balm, cups, or cutlery during that window. Colds, flu, and glandular fever travel the same way. Most other STIs need genital or oral-genital contact rather than kissing alone.
How should I score deep kissing or tongue kissing?
Score it separately from kissing in general. On the 0-100 scale, 0 means a hard no: tongue contact is to be excluded, even briefly, while closed-lip kissing may still be welcome. From 1 upward the numbers are degrees of wanting rather than degrees of tolerance - around a third means it works as a short transition, the middle means it depends on how wet and forceful it gets, high numbers mean it is a main event worth sustaining. Intensity preference is the part a number cannot carry, so a short note alongside helps.
Appears on
This item appears on the Basics test — one vial each.