Glossary Basics
Filming ourselves
Also called · homemade video · recording sex · sex tape
At a glance
- In one line
- Recording video of sex, for the two of you, with the files as the main question.
- Usually looks like
- A phone propped up, one session, watched back afterwards and often deleted.
- Gear needed
- A phone and something to prop it on. Airplane mode stops mid-recording notifications.
- Talk about first
- Who holds the files, where they live, when they get deleted, and faces in frame.
This is recording video or photographs of your own sex, made by and for the people involved. It sits between nudes and mirrors: a phone propped on a shelf, a partner holding the camera, or a short clip of one moment rather than a full session. Most people who do it do it to watch back rather than to have a permanent archive.
The variables are who holds the camera, whether faces are in frame, whether the recording is the point or a byproduct, and whether it gets watched afterward or deleted straight away. Being on camera changes behavior, so some couples find they perform rather than participate, and others find that watching themselves later is the most interesting part.
Ratings often hinge on trust and on what happens to the files rather than on the recording itself. The same person can rate this highly for a phone that stays offline and deletes the clip the same night, and very low for anything kept indefinitely on a device that syncs to the cloud.
What a score means here Filming ourselves
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0
Hard no: nothing gets recorded, and a phone pointed at the bed is not open to negotiation.
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1–33
1-33: might agree once for a specific occasion, but the file existing outweighs the appeal.
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34–66
34-66: fine when it gets watched back and deleted the same night rather than kept.
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67–99
67-99: wanted regularly, and worth keeping given a storage arrangement you both trust.
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100
100: recording and watching back is a large part of the appeal, not an occasional extra.
Rating it
A low score often reflects concern about files persisting or discomfort at being on camera; a high score means recording and watching back is something you want, which makes storage and deletion worth agreeing up front.
Common misconceptions
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Deleting a video from your phone removes it.
In practiceDeleted files sit in a recently deleted folder for around 30 days and may already have synced to iCloud or Google Photos and every linked device. Removing it properly means clearing the backup and that folder too.
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It is fine to record as long as nobody shares it.
In practiceConsent to record is needed for each occasion from everyone in frame, and recording without it is a criminal offence in many places, as is sharing afterwards. Agreement last time does not carry over to the next time.
Worth knowing
Recordings sync to cloud backups by default on most phones and can outlast a relationship, so agree in advance who keeps files, where they live, and when they get deleted. Everyone in frame has to consent to each recording, and in many places recording or sharing without that consent is a criminal offense.
About this item Frequently asked
Filming ourselves — questions people ask
What should you agree before filming yourselves having sex?
Filming yourselves means recording video of sex between you, usually on a phone, for the two of you to watch. The activity is straightforward; the decisions around it are not, and the ones that matter get made before the camera goes on: who holds the files, where they are stored, whether faces are in frame, and when they get deleted. Consent applies to each recording rather than once for all future ones, and everyone in frame has to give it.
How do you film a homemade video that is actually watchable?
Prop the phone rather than holding it, and put it in airplane mode. A phone at chest height on a shelf or a stack of books, angled down, covers more than a handheld shot and removes the awkwardness of one person operating it. Airplane mode stops a call or notification interrupting the recording. Lighting is the usual disappointment - a lamp to one side rather than an overhead light, and never the phone torch. A ten-second test clip beforehand saves discovering afterwards that most of it is off-frame.
Where should a sex tape be stored, and how do you delete it properly?
Storage is the whole risk here. Most phones sync video to iCloud or Google Photos by default, which means a copy exists on every linked device and in an account whose password may be shared. Practical steps: turn off automatic backup or move the file into a locked folder immediately, keep it off any shared or family account, and agree who holds the only copy. Deleting means clearing the recently deleted folder and the cloud copy, not just the camera roll. Agreeing in advance that files go if the relationship ends is what prevents the worst outcomes.
How is filming different from sending nudes?
A video involves two people, so both hold a veto and both stay involved afterwards. A nude is one person's image, sent by them, and the sender decides what happens to it. A recording belongs to everyone in frame, which means each new recording needs fresh agreement, deletion has to be joint, and a breakup leaves an object neither person can settle alone. That is why people who send photos readily often rate filming much lower, and it is a practical judgement rather than a squeamish one.
What score should I give filming ourselves?
Score whether you want the recording to exist, since that is the part that outlasts everything else. On the 0-100 scale, 0 is a hard no - nothing gets filmed, worth stating plainly because a phone appearing mid-session is a bad moment to negotiate. Low scores usually reflect concern about files persisting rather than discomfort on camera; the middle often means watched back and deleted the same night; high scores mean keeping them, given a storage arrangement both people trust. A note about deletion carries more than the number does.
Appears on
This item appears on the Basics test — one vial each.