Glossary BDSM
Face slapping
Also called · face slap · slapping
At a glance
- In one line
- An open-handed slap to the cheek, used for the shock and the intimacy of it rather than for pain.
- Usually looks like
- A light strike to the fleshy part of the cheek, eye contact, one or two rather than a series.
- Gear needed
- None. Rings and watches come off first, which is the only preparation required.
- Talk about first
- How hard, whether it is a warning or a surprise, and what happens if it lands wrong.
Face slapping is striking a partner's cheek with an open hand, from light taps to hard strikes that make a sound, and unlike most impact play the sensation is rarely the point, because the face is where a person is most identifiable. That is why it carries meaning about status and authority that a slap on the buttocks does not.
Force and framing vary independently. A slap can be a single punctuation mark in an otherwise ordinary encounter, or the centerpiece of a humiliation dynamic built around it; it can be announced or arrive with no warning; the hand can be withdrawn immediately or left resting on the cheek afterward. Notably, people who enjoy every other kind of impact often refuse this one, and people who dislike pain sometimes want this specifically.
High scores come from it being the most direct physical expression of one person's authority over another, with no equipment involved. Low scores come from the face feeling categorically different, or from a history of real violence that makes it unavailable regardless of context. Both are common answers, and neither needs explaining to a partner beyond being stated once.
What a score means here Face slapping
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0
Hard no: being struck on the face, or striking someone, is not something you want.
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1–33
1–33: a tap on the cheek is fine; anything with force behind it is not.
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34–66
34–66: a real slap works at a moment of high intensity, not as a running element.
-
67–99
67–99: you want it as a deliberate part of the dynamic, with genuine force behind it.
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100
100: it is central to what you want, and its absence takes the edge off the whole encounter.
Rating it
A low score means strikes to the face are not something you want given or received; a high score means the dynamic it carries appeals to you, and agreeing a maximum force matters more here than the number does.
Common misconceptions
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A slap is just a hit that happens to be on the face.
In practiceAlmost nobody rates it for pain. What makes it distinct is the intimacy, the eye contact, and the taboo — which is why plenty of people who love heavy impact elsewhere refuse it entirely.
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Any part of the face is fine if you go light.
In practiceThe safe target is the fleshy part of the cheek. Ears, eyes, nose, jaw hinge and temple are off the list: a slap over the ear can rupture an eardrum, and jaw strikes can dislocate.
-
If they liked it once, they want it again.
In practiceIt has an unusually high rate of landing badly on a bad day, because it connects to real experiences of being hit. Checking before each occasion is normal for this one, not excessive.
Worth knowing
Strike the fleshy part of the cheek only, with a flat, slightly open hand, and stay away from the ear, jaw hinge, nose, eyes, and throat, since a cupped hand over the ear can rupture an eardrum and blows to the jaw can damage teeth or the joint. Brace or support the head so the neck does not snap sideways, remove rings, and agree the hardest acceptable strike beforehand.
About this item Frequently asked
Face slapping — questions people ask
what does face slapping mean in bdsm
Face slapping means an open-handed strike to the cheek inside an agreed scene, and almost nobody rates it for the pain. What people describe wanting is the shock, the eye contact, and the intimacy of being touched hard on the most exposed part of the body. It is used as a punctuation mark rather than a sustained activity — one or two at a moment of intensity rather than a series. It is also one of the most commonly refused items on any list, including by people who enjoy heavy impact elsewhere.
how do you slap someone in the face safely
Take off rings and watches, keep the hand open and slightly cupped, and land on the fleshy part of the cheek between the cheekbone and the jaw. Avoid the ear entirely — a slap over the ear can rupture an eardrum — and keep away from the eyes, nose, temple and jaw hinge. Support the head with the other hand or have the person against a surface so the neck does not whip. Start far lighter than feels dramatic, and stop for ringing ears, dizziness, or a nosebleed.
whats the difference between face slapping and spanking
Spanking targets a padded area built to absorb impact and works through repetition; face slapping targets an exposed, expressive area and works through shock. The difference in meaning is larger than the difference in force. A slap carries associations with real violence that a spanking does not, which is why many people who take heavy paddling refuse the face entirely, and why it typically appears once or twice in a scene rather than as a sustained element.
why do some people find face slapping degrading and others dont
Because it sits at the intersection of impact and humiliation, and people arrive at it from different directions. For some the appeal is precisely that it reads as degrading, which puts it close to verbal humiliation on their list. For others it is about intimacy and immediacy, and the degradation reading is unwelcome. Neither reading is inherent to the act, so the useful conversation is what it is supposed to mean in your scene, not how hard it is going to be.
how many points should i give face slapping
Score the act on its own rather than as an extension of impact play. On the 0–100 scale, 0 is a hard limit — no strikes to the face, in either role — and a lot of people who enjoy heavy impact elsewhere put it exactly there, which is a consistent preference rather than a contradiction. Low scores fit a tap on the cheek. Middle scores fit a real slap at a peak moment. High scores fit wanting it as a deliberate, recurring part of the dynamic with genuine force behind it.
Appears on
This item appears on the BDSM test — one vial each.